Blessed or Bitter? Glorifying the God of our Circumstances

Sometimes life hurts. Physical ailments, broken relationships, injustice, dashed hopes, unmet expectations, unanswered prayers… Every person faces trials to some degree or another. Sometimes it’s hard to see God’s sovereignty through the fog of pain and confusion. Why does God allow us to suffer? What should be our response to trials?

 Pain and Pity

We’ve all met them – bitter, sad creatures who have experienced some hard knocks in life: who walk around, bent under the heavy weight of their burdens, delighting to brandish their sorrows to anyone who will listen. These people are bitter, angry, and pathetic. They are discouraging to be around! Quite frankly, I’ve known people who, when faced with a LITTLE trial, literally ceased to function! I've been there. Sadly, there have been times when that scenario could have described me. I am happy to say that not everyone is like that, because what a depressing world it would be if we all carried around our burdens like a heavy load and sat around complaining about all the negative things in our lives. We’d have a lot to talk about, but it would be rather depressing!

I’ve known people who let pain define their lives, but I’ve also known people who let pain be an instrument of grace and growth. These people, rather than carry their burdens as a means for seeking pity, have allowed their trials to teach them -looking on them not as curses, but blessings. These people radiate the joy of the Lord! What makes the difference?

 God wants me to be happy, right?

When we look at overwhelming circumstances, it’s hard to see how God is working “all things for good.” (Romans 8:28) Our idea of “good” is often very different from God’s. We have this mental image of the perfect life: a perfect spouse, perfect job, perfect children, nice house, nice car…you get the idea. We would consider these things “good”. Many people have this mistaken idea that God wants us to have every desire of our heart and to live out our lives on earth in peace with every earthly comfort possible. But that perspective is not Biblical. God’s will is not to make us comfortable. God’s will is to change us.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.” Romans 8:28-29

What is this“good” that God purposes to do? He wants to conform us to the image of Christ. That is the ultimate good He is working toward in all our circumstances. Is it always pleasant? No. Does it always “feel good” at the time? No.

“…we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” Hebrews 12:9-11

Sometimes we foolishly think that God is like us. He isn’t! God is more holy, more powerful, and more glorious than our finite minds could ever imagine. This may come as a surprise, but redemption is not about us. We were created and redeemed HIM and for His glory! (Proverbs 16:4) God is not so much concerned with our happiness, but with our holiness. We must be made like Him!

“Follow…holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord…”Hebrews 12:14

God’s work of sanctification is life-long and will not be complete before we stand before Him in heaven.

Lies or Truth…?

Many people measure God’s love towards them by their feelings or circumstances. These are faulty guidelines by which to measure God’s love. Our hearts are “deceitful and desperately wicked” (Jeremiah 17:9) and our feelings are wishy-washy, often changing from moment to moment. Our circumstances are often tools that God uses to expose the true beliefs of our hearts. There was a time in my life when I went through a difficult season. I was struggling with pain and confusion. It seemed as if God had forgotten me, and I certainly couldn’t see how God was working all things for good. In the midst of my grieving, someone said to me,“God didn’t die!” To my shame, that’s how I was acting. It’s easy to say that you believe God is good, but what about when you lose your job? Do you believe God is good then? Or did God “slip up” and let something bad happen? I’ve met many Christians who profess the sovereignty of God, but when trials come…well, we quickly learn what their beliefs truly are. Our “functional beliefs” are the ones that we live by. These are the beliefs that orient us to our world and our circumstances. They command our actions. The Bible says of God, “…Thou hast made the heaven and the earth by thy great power and stretched out arm, and there is nothing too hard for thee…”(Jeremiah 32:17) I know this verse and I profess to believe it. But, I start to worry about…my job, my future…it could be any number of things that keep me awake at night. Now, wait a minute! What happened to “there is nothing too hard for thee?”There is a contradiction between what I know and what I believe. What am I trusting in? I am making God small and putting circumstances in the position of ultimate power and authority. I am either believing that God is too great to be bothered with my circumstances, or I am believing that He is unable to do anything about them. Is that what I profess? Of course not! I would never say that my circumstances are greater than God! Oh, but Satan loves to plant seeds of doubt in our minds. He loves to come along and whisper, “Yea, hath God said?” If I doubt that God cares for my needs, I am questioning His sovereignty, His love, and His wisdom. There have been many times, to my shame, when I have walked around in defeat as if God were not on the throne just because things didn’t go according to my desires. These lies have become my functional beliefs – the ones that I am living by.

Blessings or curses?

We think of blessings as those things that make us happy and comfortable. But shouldn’t we look on our trials as blessings when they are primarily what God uses to make us like Himself? If we believe that God is sovereign, then all things, good or bad, come from His hand. If that is the case, then even the trials and tribulations are part of His divine will and purpose in our life! We are blessed that He cares about us enough to not leave us where we are but that His love is purposeful and redemptive!

Some of the blessings in trials:

· They expose our hearts and show us what we’re made of. 

· They show us the emptiness of temporal pleasures and make us long for heaven.

· They cause us to seek God.

· They show us our sinfulness and our need for God’s mercy.

· They teach us humility.

· They cause us to grow.

· They are instruments of God’s mercy and grace.

· They can be a testimony to others.

· They teach us that God is sufficient.

· They are one of the main tools that God uses to make us into the image of Christ.

Looking back on my life, I can see that the times of greatest growth were the times of greatest trial. The easy times when I didn’t have so many struggles were times of sort of resting– not really growing, just sort of complacent. Every time when I’ve had difficulty, that’s when I’ve been learning, stretching, growing, leaning, seeking, and falling, but getting up again. I’ve learned more in a short time during the trials than I could have ever learned in those times of ease! I remember during a period of deep struggle, I said, “Lord, bring on the trials, if only to make me more like You!” I don’t recommend praying that prayer. I would never wish to go through that particular situation again. But even in the midst of my pain, I could see that God was using that very hurt to cause me to seek Him. When my silly dreams and hopes had been stripped away, all I could do was cry out to Him. And I learned that He was enough. He is the Sacrifice that will never be rejected, a Keeper that never sleeps, the Great Physician, the Healer of broken hearts, the Friend that never fails, and the Hope that never disappoints.

A godly response to trials

You have a choice. Will you be bitter or blessed? Maybe your circumstances are painful, but God is still good. He uses evil for good and makes the bitter sweet. He gives “beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.”(Isaiah 61:3) Give Him glory no matter what you’re facing. He is worthy of our praise! Know that God is sovereign. Believe it and live what you believe. Don’t complain about your circumstances because they are from God! Rather than praying for God to change your circumstances, pray for God to use your circumstances to change you. Give thanks for what God is doing. Maybe you aren’t at a place where you can thank God for the heartache or the loss. But you can rejoice in that God has allowed it for your good and His glory. Rejoice that He is using the trials and circumstances to wean you from this world and make you into His image.

 “How can all things be worked together by God for good? The answer is at hand. It is because God's ultimate purpose is to make us like Christ. His goal is the complete restoration of the image of God in His child! So great a work demands all the resources which God finds throughout the universe, and He ransacks the possibilities of joys and sorrows in order to reproduce in us the character of Jesus.” -Sinclair Ferguson

To God be the glory!

Additional Scriptures on the topics of trials and suffering: Job 23:10, Romans 5:3-5, Romans 8:17-18, 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, 1 Peter 1:7, 1 Peter 2:20-24, 1 Peter 4:12-16

The Sympathy of Christ

Recently I was in a tough situation where I had been hurt by another person. I was plagued with despair, confusion, hurt, and bitterness. So many times I thought, “No one understands the hurt and pain I feel. No one sympathizes with what I feel.” Every time I shared with someone how I had been hurt, I was left with a sick, empty feeling in my stomach. Even sympathy from friends didn’t bring me comfort. As I spent time studying and crying out to God, I came across this verse:

“Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16

Isn’t it amazing that Christ understands our struggles? This verse says that He is touched with the feeling of our infirmities. He was a human being who experienced the same things that we do: temptation, hunger, pain, cold, rejection. When He faced the deepest struggle of His life – His crucifixion – all of His disciples left Him. Even His Father rejected Him and He was left to face the wrath of God alone. He did all that for us! No one was there to give love and comfort when He needed it most. No one was there to sympathize with His suffering. And yet, when WE are going through our own struggles, He is there to love and comfort us. He understands because He was a human being just like us. But do you know what the most comforting thing of all is? He faced all those things without sinning. We cannot say that about ourselves. We sin daily. Even our best deeds are tainted with sinful motives. But when God looks at us, He sees Christ. From our perspective, we see our failure – our sinful past, and the sin that continues to plague us daily. But God looks at us and sees Christ’s perfect obedience. He sees Him facing the same temptations we do, and responding in holiness and righteousness. And that’s what He sees when He sees US in Christ!!! Because of that, we can come boldly to Him – without fear of rejection or abandonment, and without anxiety wondering if He will understand or care for us. When we are in a difficult situation, His sympathy is the only sympathy that matters because He is the only One that can give the mercy and grace that we so desperately need!

I’ve found that when I’m anxious, angry, or depressed, it’s helpful to ask myself, “What am I believing about God?” Usually when I am anxious, I am believing a lie. My deceitful heart is telling me that God doesn’t care or is unable to change my circumstances. Don’t let your feelings dictate what you believe about God because they lie! Our trust should be in what God’s Word says, not what our heart says. What does God’s Word say about YOUR current struggle? It says that Christ is touched by your difficulties. He sympathizes. He faced temptation without sin. And because His sinless life has been put to your account, you can come boldly to God, knowing that He hears and accepts you because of Christ! When you are feeling hurt because of lack of sympathy, fear of failure, or anxiety, remember that Christ knows, understands, and invites you to come boldly to God. He offers His free mercy and grace to help you! When you are anxious and dealing with fearful thoughts, ask yourself, “What am I believing about God?” If your beliefs are not biblical, repent of them, and go to God’s Word to see what IS true about God. If we can grasp what is true about God’s character, it goes a long way to dispel fear, anxiety, anger, and all those sinful feelings and thoughts.

"...Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen." Hebrews 13:20-21