Forgiveness and the Courtroom of the Heart

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20

When compared with Christ’s example of godly anger, I’m afraid my own anger doesn’t “make the cut.” My anger is usually self-righteous and self-serving. Recently I was faced with some criticism that really stung. I felt like it was unjust and inaccurate, so I thought I was justified in getting “a little hot under the collar.” My first reaction was to try to explain my original actions, and when I realized that my accuser wasn’t interested in listening, I condemned my accuser to “death by silence.” I set myself up as investigator, prosecutor, witnesses, judge, jury, jailer, and hangman. I had all the bases covered, and I felt pretty good about meting out “justice” for my wrongful accusation. Then I started my studies for the week. I had to read four articles on anger, and I thought, “Well, this should be an easy week. I don’t have a problem there!” How deceitful and self-righteous my heart is! It was easy for me to see anger in the heart of my accuser, but I self-righteously held myself to a different standard. I could be “miffed” because I was the one that was wrongfully accused! I used a more subtle form of anger – silence – to coerce some sort of remorse from my accuser. That was easier to justify than harsh words and open hostility.

I fought a long battle with this scenario. I knew that I should have a Christ-like, gracious response to the situation, but honestly, I would rather justify my sinful anger by cloaking it and giving it a nicer name. When I finally asked myself the question, “What do I love instead of God?” the answer was clear. I was loving and serving my reputation, my pride, my self-righteousness, and other’s opinions before God. I was not seeking God’s glory. I was not seeking the good of His people. I was seeking ME, MY RIGHTS, MY REPUTATION! I am grateful that God patiently exposes my heart through the mirror of His Word. Not only does He reveal my sinful heart, but He gives HOPE: repentance, forgiveness, and the power to change by His grace!

“Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.” Proverbs 10:12

“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8

Sin, Lies, and Starving

“Sin must be refused and starved, not played with and fed.” –Sinclair Ferguson

Sin is like a cancer that grows and takes over everything in the body. If given a place in the body, it is not satisfied to remain there in isolation, but according to its’ very nature must expand, grow, and invade every other part. It is not passive, but aggressive. In the face of passivity, it overpowers, crushes, and devastates. It quietly feeds off the seemingly “innocent” pleasures and the next thing you know it has taken over and consumed the soul. As a believer, I have to be vigilant. Satan, the father of lies, is vigilant: he is active, pursuing, and aggressive.

I have been learning the need to “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,” to weigh my thoughts against the true Word of God. When held up to the light of Scripture some of the most seemingly innocent thoughts of doubt and anxiety are shown to be what they are: sinful, blasphemous lies. These anxious thoughts, if given a place and a little sustenance, will grow like an insatiable cancer, bringing with it a host of other lies. One thought of doubt whether God truly cares about my personal needs will bring into question His sovereignty, His love, and His wisdom. If I believe a “little lie,” I can be convinced of many lies about God’s character. If I entertain a thought that I will never have victory in an area of struggle then I can be convinced that God’s grace is not sufficient to help me and that I can never be “holy enough” to be acceptable in His sight. That’s all it takes: one “little lie.” That’s all it took to destroy the whole of the human race in the Garden of Eden. These lies cannot survive in the environment of the truth of God’s Word. They die a sudden death when exposed to the illuminating, cleansing power of the Truth. It is necessary for me to daily fill my mind with the Word. The health of my soul depends upon it. Passivity will not do. My adversary is vigilant. But my God is vigilant, too; seeking, preserving, and keeping me. To God be the glory!