“God
is vastly patient and relentlessly persevering as He intrudes into your life.”
–David Powlison
I love this truth.
I need it. It is an unspeakable comfort to me that God is not passive, waiting
for me to work up enough self-will to shed my sinful habits and become a better
person. If it were left to me, I’d never change. In my depraved, sinful heart,
I’m comfortable where I am. I like my sin. But there is this holy unrest and
discomfort that comes from outside of myself. When I see the immense price of
redemption – so costly to the One who paid it, yet righteousness offered as a
free gift to me - my sin becomes a very ugly thing.
God has been
seeking me all along. When He saved me, I was a self-righteous, arrogant
sinner, quite proud of my own morality and virtue. I did not see myself as a
miserable sinner in need of a Savior. God came as a holy Intruder, invading my
life when I seemed most set in my self-righteousness. I had not sought Him. And
yet, He came. He did not need my invitation, because He created and owned me.
He became a Father to me – my Advocate, my Righteousness, my God.
God’s grace did not
leave me where I was when He saved me. Still He sought me. Over time I grew
complacent in this relationship. I allowed other loves to become idols and gave
them His rightful place in my heart. In loving mercy and endless patience, He
sought me still. God allowed those idols to be taken from me. I saw them for
what they were – empty, fleeting, temporary pleasures that will one day be
burned up.
It’s as if daily He
turns the lights a little brighter – He reveals more and more those sins that
dominate my heart, yet at the same time I see more of His mercy – that grace
that is effectual, pursuing, endlessly seeking my heart and making me into His
image. I am so grateful for this God who is active, pursuing, and intrusive. He
knows what I need, and where I lack the self-will and power to change, He has
that covered. He not only gives that self-revelation, He also gives a
revelation of Himself so that I know what I should be, and He gives the grace
to change.